


Crumbling Memories and Forgotten Reality

by Writing_Doodle



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Big brother Axel, Flashbacks, Gaslighting, Gen, Implied Past Lea/Isa, Memories, Other Characters Show Up But They Aren't As Important, Twilight Town (Kingdom Hearts), also influenced by the manga, slight AU, specifically the digital one, tbh i've been reading the light novels lately and I think that's pretty obvious, very...... vaguely... implied...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_Doodle/pseuds/Writing_Doodle
Summary: "Did you see that man?" Roxas asked.His friends just stared at him blankly. "Man?""The man on the roof." His stomach twisted. "You mean... You didn't...?"Their faces were confirmation enough. Roxas frowned and looked at his shoes. "Oh." Something was wrong. "Never mind."Something was horribly wrong.





	Crumbling Memories and Forgotten Reality

**Author's Note:**

> When I was about 8 or so, my first exposure to Kingdom Hearts was the Kingdom Hearts 2 manga. Of course, I read it and I was horribly confused about everything that was going on. I loved it, though. There was something about the concept of a seemingly normal kid discovering that he was not so normal (and a part of a villainous organization) that just... struck me. I felt for Roxas, I was deeply fascinated by his story, and I kinda wished that it lasted a lot longer than it did.
> 
> So this is like... wish fulfillment a decade in the making. 
> 
> I've also been reading the light novels lately and they 100% had some influence in this.

_ An endless night sky - dark and oppressive. No moon, no stars. Nothing to lighten the crushing heaviness of eternity over his head. _

_ Rain. _

_ Neon. _

_ He was running. He was fighting.  _

_ Fighting?  _

_ No, that hasn’t happened yet. He was walking.  _

_ “Roxas.” _

_ He paused, sensing a presence behind him.  _

_ “Your minds made up, huh.” The voice was quiet. Sad. _

_ Sad? Why? _

_ Words. He’s saying something, but he can’t tell what. The rain is too loud….  _

_ The voice doesn’t like it. “You can’t turn on the Organization - you get on their bad side and they’ll destroy you! I’ll….” The voice cracked. “Roxas…” _

_ More words. He can’t hear what he’s saying, but he knows. He  _ knows.

_ What does he know? _

_ Fighting - yes, he’s fighting now. _

_ The sky is so dark, the rain is so cold, his breathing is heavy, his chest is tight, he - _

_ “Roxas.” _

_ He snarls at the figure in front of him, his teeth are bared and his hair is plastered to his face. He feels like a caged animal lashing out at his handlers. Sparks fly as metal blades clash. He’s ruthless. He won’t stop slashing at his attacker. All of his blows hit, but he won’t. Stay. Down. _

“Roxas!”

Roxas startled. He rubbed his eyes - they were so  _ dry _ . How long has he been zoned out? He turned his head and saw it was Olette who snapped him out of it.

Her green eyes were clouded in concern. She smiled, a little shaky, and asked, “Where’d you go?”

Roxas shrugged. “Nowhere.” The last vestiges of his daydream slipped out of his fingers like water. There was a gnawing feeling in his gut and an emptiness in his chest, but he couldn’t place why. 

“You gotta get more sleep.” Olette’s words were teasing, but her eyes were frowning. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and said, “The bell rang a few minutes ago. You wouldn’t wake up.” 

“Oh….  _ oh!”  _ As soon as his brain processed Olette’s words, he scrambled to get his notebooks into his bad. 

Olette laughed. “It’s alright, the train won’t leave for another fifteen minutes. No need to rush.”

“If I ever zone out again you have full permission to punch me awake.” Roxas tripped over the legs of his chair and Olette quickly grabbed his shoulder and stabilized him. 

“Noted.” She then dragged him out of the classroom and pushed him down the hall. “C’mon, c’mon.”

“I thought you said I didn’t have to rush?” But Roxas was laughing at Olette’s fussiness, anyway.

“We don’t have to rush for the train, but Hayner and Pence are probably waiting.” 

Roxas immediately thought of Hayner yelling at him for making him wait an extra few minutes and groaned. “Oh Light…” 

Olette squinted at him, but didn’t say anything. Roxas got the distinct sense that he did something wrong. 

“What?”

“What?”

Olette stopped pushing him forward, but instead walked two steps ahead. Roxas frowned and felt himself lag behind. He felt his insides squirm. A spark in his stomach. A fleeting moment of  _ panic. _

“That’s just a weird phrase, is all.” Olette answered, quietly. She turned back around and frowned at how far Roxas was down the hall. “Aren’t you coming? We always ride the train back home together…” 

The panic faded and Roxas forgot it was even there in the first place. He caught up with Olette and she smiled and Roxas smiled and  _ everything was normal.  _

~~He felt like he was just saying that to himself at this point.~~

 

-

 

Axel held his breath. He knew he didn’t need to - he was too far away from the children for noise to alert their attention. Still, he felt like he needed to. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying something. 

He was right  _ there _ . 

Axel carefully slid down the shingled roof of the school. He needed a better look. He need to be  _ sure. _

**_[Have you spotted him?]_ **

Axel winced at the crackling static voice that filled his ear. He pressed the earpiece and replied, voice soft, “Yeah - it’s him.”

It was Roxas. 

He was in the courtyard in front of the school. A girl was dragging him towards two boys sitting on the ledge of a fountain. They were all wearing school uniforms - one of the boys by the fountain already took off his tie and partially unbuttoned his shirt to combat the almost sweltering heat. Axel distantly recognized the three children - he’d see them around whenever he ran missions in Twilight Town. He didn’t know that Roxas saw them, too. 

The group met at the fountain and the boy without his tie yelled something Axel couldn’t hear. He hopped off the ledge and shook his finger at Roxas - lecturing him over something, no doubt. Roxas smiled and laughed and rose his hands in surrender. The girl said something and the boy still sitting at the fountain laughed too. Roxas shoved her, face bright red. 

Axel felt something twist in his chest as he watched the scene unfold.

**_[Well?]_ **   The voice in his ear probed.

“There are other people with him.” Axel answered. “Kids - around his age. Something’s off.”

**_[That isn’t our concern right now - are you able to retrieve him?]_ **

“Maybe if I move fast enough I can...” Axel trailed off. He felt his muscles tense up. “ _ Shit. _ ” 

The space around him seemed to warp like the air above asphalt on a hot day. He felt sick.

**_[A-l?]_** The static was stronger, the voice was muffled and cracked beyond recognition. 

“Send me back.” Axel’s voice was sharp. He scrambled up the roof, far away from the scene below. “Saix!” He yelled, desperation seeping into his voice as the air collapsed around him. “ _ Get me out of here right now.” _ He prayed to the Light and Darkness and fucking  _ Kingdom Hearts  _ that the connection was still up and running. 

He looked at the group of children once more, hoping to get one last look at Roxas before he was kicked out of this world. 

He didn’t expect Roxas to be looking at him, too. 

The other kids were still talking amongst themselves, not noticing the commotion on the roof. But Roxas… Roxas was looking right at him. Something like  _ hope  _ bloomed in Axel’s chest.  _ Does that mean…? _

Axel blinked and suddenly he wasn’t on a roof anymore. His back was against a cold metal surface and his feet were planted on solid ground. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark room. His breathing was heavy.

_ He saw me. _

A smile stretched across Axel’s face - much too wide and showing too many teeth. “That was a close one.” He breathed, voice heavy with relief and a small spark of that  _ almost hope.  _

Saix looked at him, less than amused. “What happened.” He asked, voice flat. 

“I was spotted before I could do anything.” Axel shrugged. He stood up from the uncomfortable metal chair and stretched. His legs shook slightly and he willed the lasting adrenaline to go away. “Someone was trying to delete me from the data.

“That would’ve been unfortunate.” Saix turned back to the computer screen and began typing. 

“You’re telling me!” Axel leaned over Saix shoulder and peered at the lines of code. “Damn, I really should’ve taken those computer classes in school, huh.”

Saix’s fingers stilled briefly, before resuming their pace. “You are sure the person you saw was No. XIII, correct?”

“One hundred percent. That was Roxas.” Axel straightened his back and paced around the small room. “There was a glamour on him - it was pretty powerful, too. Something else was off, though…” 

“Proceed.” 

“I’m pretty sure they’re fucking with his memories somehow.”

Saix’s typing stopped completely. He turned around and gave Axel his full attention. “How do you mean?”

Axel didn’t know if he should preen or shrink away. He stopped pacing. “He was at a  _ school. _ Like he was some regular teenager. He was also around these other kids his age - they were acting so  _ normal.  _ It was weird.” Axel scrunched up his face as if he was thinking of something distasteful. Then, his face smoothed over and he just looked… empty. “He was emoting. More than the usual - it was genuine. Whoever captured him probably made him forget he wasn’t supposed to feel.” Axel crossed his arms. “That’s all I can report, for now.”

Saix frowned slightly. “That is… troubling.” He turned back around and continued typing. “If what you’re saying is true-”

“It is.”

“- Then retrieving No. XIII would be a lot more trouble than we previously thought.” Something on the computer flashed and Saix bit back a curse. “We need to wait for another breach in the code.” 

“And what will happen once you’ve found one?”

“You are to go back and retrieve No. XIII as quickly as possible. If you are unable to, you have permission to just erase him.”

“ _ No. _ ” The word flew out of Axel’s mouth, before he had the sense to chase it away.

Slowly, Saix turned around and rose an eyebrow.

“It’s not like he  _ wants  _ to be there.” Axel defended. “He was  _ kidnapped. _ He didn’t defect - there’s no reason why I should have to kill him.” 

“He carries sensitive information.”

“That he probably can’t remember.” Axel sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, I don't think we should be too hasty here. Roxas is an asset, isn’t he? When are we going to find another Keyblade wielder that would willingly work for us?” 

Saix was silent. The sickly blue glow of the computer emphasized his scar in a way that made Axel’s stomach clench. 

“Plus, if his memories  _ are  _ tampered with taking him out of that environment too soon might be worse for all of us. What if the trauma of attacking him and dragging him away makes it so his memories never come back?”

“That shouldn’t be an issue. He doesn’t need memories to be useful.”

“He wouldn’t be useful to us if he thinks he’s a normal boy that was kidnapped. He’d be hostile.” Axel frowned. “Then we’d  _ really  _ have to kill him.” The thought of killing the kid made Axel feel distinctly uncomfortable. He didn’t want it to come to that. He  _ really  _ didn’t. 

“Then what do  _ you _ suggest?” Saix rubbed his forehead in a mixture of irritation and exhaustion. Despite everything (or was it  _ because  _ of everything?) Axel almost felt bad for him. 

“I think… I should get closer to him. Talk to him. Try to probe out his memories. They gotta be in there somewhere. Right…?” Axel looked at Saix for confirmation, suddenly feeling doubtful about this plan.

Saix stared right back at him and, for a brief moment, his face softened. It passed in an instant. “I’ll have to run it by The Superior.” 

“As expected.” Axel sighed. “Just… I think we should try to convince him to come back with us willingly. I know it’ll take more time, but…” He couldn't think of the words he wanted to say. He tried to think of anything else to push his argument.

“Do not attempt to convince me further, I understand what you’re saying.” Saix stood up. “I will report your findings. Go rest. You’re expected to return tomorrow.”

“Yessir.” Axel gave a mocking salute that Saix rolled his eyes at. 

“You’re insufferable.” He muttered, before leaving the room. 

Axel stared at the door he left through. His smile was thin. “Always have been.” He said to no one. He signed, rubbing his face. 

Light, this whole thing was a  _ mess. _

 

-

 

"No one would miss me." The words slipped out of Roxas' mouth unbegotten.    


"Eh?" Hayner's face scrunched up. "What's that about?"    
  
"Huh? Oh." Roxas' mouth twisted in embarrassment. "Sorry. It was just a phrase that's been floating in my head."    
  
"That's a stupid phrase." Hayner looked more irritated than usual. "'No one would miss me?' Uh, if you were to up and disappear  _ we'd _ miss you. Your  _ parents  _ would miss you. Hell, even the guy that runs that accessory shop would miss you!" Hayner scrutinized him. "Are you ok, buddy?"    
  
"Y-yeah." For some reason Hayner's words made him feel very sad and... alone. "I'm fine."    
  
"He just hasn't been getting enough sleep." Olette piped up. "I already grilled him for that."    
  
"Did you know if you don't sleep for long enough you'll just straight up die?" Pence added.    
  
"There's no way that's true." Hayner turned his attention to Pence and Roxas felt relief.    
  
He squeezed the handrail tighter and focused on the rattle of the train. Something was wrong.    
  
Something was  _ wrong _ .    
  
"Roxas..."    
  
Roxas looked at Olette.    
  
"You're ok."    
  
"Yeah." Roxas agreed, automatically, not even questioning where that came from. "Yeah. I'm ok."    
  
The sun wasn't warm and the train felt empty beyond the three people who surrounded him and if he focused too hard on the rattle he could tell there was a pattern.   
  
But he was ok.    
  
Wasn't he?    
  
Something was nagging at the back of his mind.    
  
He saw something.    
  
"Hey." He frowned. The other three teenagers looked at him. "Did any of you... see someone?"    
  
They stared at him.    
  
"Well... yeah." Hayner answered, halting. "We see lots of people."    
  
"No." Roxas shook his head. Somehow that answer didn't irritate him - he didn't know why he felt nostalgic. "There was someone weird. At the school."    
  
Pence and Olette looked concerned. "Weird how?"    
  
"I dunno." Roxas tried to focus, but all he could remember was a  _ feeling _ . "A man. It was a man. He..." A grainy memory that was being scrubbed from his mind even as he tried to recall it. "He was on the roof."    
  
Pence laughed. "Are you making fun of me, Roxas? That's something I would say."    
  
"No, I'm serious! There was-"   
  
"You really  _ are _ tired." Hayner teased. "Staying up all night doing last minute homework?"    
  
"No-"    
  
"You need rest.    
  
"Yeah." Pence nodded. "Soon as we drop you off, you gotta take a nap or something."    
  
Roxas didn't argue. He  _ was _ tired. Maybe they were right...    
  
Maybe it was nothing. 

Yeah, it was nothing.    
  
Everything was ok.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this first chapter/prologue!
> 
> I didn't beta this, because it was mostly just a quick, spur of the moment thing. I'd like to possibly continue it, but who knows. I'll wait for some response first. 
> 
> Have a nice day! :))


End file.
